With a new week, we #NISSATalk members came with new topic #Childwithin. We were all once child, and still have that child dwelling within us. But most adults are quite unaware of this. And this lack of conscious relatedness to our own inner child is precisely where so many behavioral, emotional and relationship difficulties stem from.
True adulthood hinges on acknowledging, accepting, and taking responsibility for loving and parenting one’s own inner child. For most adults, this never happens. Instead, their inner child has been denied, neglected, disparaged, abandoned or rejected. We are told by society to “grow up,” putting childish things aside. To become adults, we’ve been taught that our inner child–representing our child-like capacity for innocence, wonder, awe, joy, sensitivity and playfulness–must be stifled, quarantined or even killed. The inner child comprises and potentiates these positive qualities. But it also holds our accumulated childhood hurts, traumas, fears & angers. “Grown-ups” are convinced they have successfully outgrown, jettisoned, and left this child–and its emotional baggage–long behind. But this is far from the truth.
We develop our desires and drives during our childhood,
Then our whole adulthood becomes affected by these childhood experiences.
– said by Alfred Adler
Do you believe that our childhood experience effect our adulthood?
Yes, it’s a fact that whatever experiences we have in childhood plays an important role, when we grow up. We don’t inherit our personalities but instead we develop certain traits as a result of the experiences we pass through in life. Let’s make it clearer, with some of the studies done by expert.
- Protective family child:- If a child was raised by an over protective family then he will develop fear and insecurities because of believing that the world is unsafe. Now when that child becomes an adult he will still have his fears and insecurities but he will display them in a different way. This insecurity develops fear of strangers and might prefer to stay beside his parents than to be with his friends. When that person grows up and becomes an adult, that person might fear taking risks, trying something new and might fall in love with routine because it provides him with the security he needs.
- Fighting Parents Child:- If a child was raised in a family, were daily parents fight & argue with each other then he will develop aggression, emotional distress, insecure relationship & low self esteem. When that person grow up and becomes an adult, that person might have insecurity in his relationship. Which might be turn to doubting partner, getting aggressive in small things & always have a fear of losing spouse/love.
- Divorced Family Child:- If a child’s parents divorce at his small age, then he will develop insecurity, loneliness & neglected feeling inside him. When the person grow up & become an adult, that person might create a false personality for the society to attract them towards him. Because of insecurity, loneliness & neglection experiences of his childhood, as a adult he always try to get surrounded with people & always have a fear of losing them. He has to maintain that false image forever and if he couldn’t it will take him to depression.
- Molested Child:- If the child has passed through some very cruel & bad period of moment in his childhood, will develop fear, guilt & aggression. Time may be hiding all the emotions & child forgets everything. But when the person grow up & face a situation, which somewhere related to it, at that time the childhood bad memory try to control his adulthood. And the person blast out with mix emotion of aggression & fear.
- Working Mom’s Child:- The sons of working mothers also tended to pitch in more on household chores and childcare, the study found — they spent seven and a half more hours a week on childcare and 25 more minutes on housework. Daughters of working mothers went to school longer, were more likely to have a job in a supervisory role, and had 23% more income compared with their peers who were raised by stay-at-home mothers.
- Single child:- The only child finds himself the center of attention as soon as he is born and when he grows up he does his best to maintain that attention he was always used to. There is a very big possibility that only children become showy adults
- Youngest child:- When the youngest child is born he usually takes all the attention of his parents and in order for him to maintain this attention he learns how to become a showy person
Search says that most of the criminal have a bad childhood, which drags them to the world of crime. There are many more studies done in details, to know how the #childwithin affects the adulthood. Above were just a few examples of it.
Indian cinema influenced the India society. So now a day, producers try to show the hidden side of the society through film, to make people get aware about it.
Do you all remember “Bhool Bhulaiyaa”; it is an official remake of the 1993 Malayalam film, Manichitrathazhu, which is produced by director Priyadarshan. Director release this movie in many different languages. It was a psychological thriller movie, filled with lots of comedy sequence, which we all enjoyed.
But here my intention is to drag your attention to #childwithin avni (vidya balan). Avni had a bad childhood, where she forcefully separated from her grand ma. Which affected her very badly, as a result she got aggressive & run out of the exam hall, during her exam. As the time passed a bundle of new memories cover up the dark past. But after marriage, when she came to the palace with her husband & heard the story of dancer “Manjulika”, who forcefully separated from her love, by a king of the palace. Her inner childhood hidden memories awaken. And some where it overpowered her adulthood. As a result she converted herself to Manjulika, to give her justices, which she didn’t have in her childhood. It is known as Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID).
Treatment or healing:-
Family support & if required take child to proper psychiatrist counselor.
Family support is more important to heal this issue. Family has to take it as in positive way & treat the child’s this issue as normal as having a fever. And should take counselor help to deal with this situation & recover as soon as possible. Before it leave a major effect on child’s mind.
We should teach our children to maintain balance between their inner & outer self, try not to nag them & just let them learn from their mistake. This will help them to keep their inner child alive.
I’m part of team #NISSAtalks. Stay tuned as all through June, we will be opening up and talking about a host of topics.
This week, we are all writing on #Childwithin
Don’t forget to checkout my teammates posts:
Nupur (www.practicalmum.net) &