I born & brought up in metro city. I always had seen people living in nuclear families. I had a big wish to live in a join family. But my point of view towards the joint family change after my wedding. Not because of my family but because of those families who leaves surrounding my in laws house.
Let’s start from the place description. We live in a colony which has several lines. Our line has 10 houses. Each & every families came from different places & have different culture. But some types of behavior are common in these people.
Hey before that let me tell you I am talking about a place where big import export, lots of industry & more job opportunity is there. I am making this clear because I don’t want you guys to think that I am talking about some village.
Similarity in all these families are:-
Only head couple of the family will rule the house. They have the right to take all the decisions. It may be wrong or right all have to follow. No one have right to raise a voice in their decisions.
Son & daughter’s of the family have rights to live there life fully. Daughter-in-law is just a servant & there kids are trouble makers. Especially if they are girl child.
Son can’t pamper his kids if his parents (head of the family) sitting with them. (They call it respect to elders…..isn’t it?)
- These are some common family rules now let’s see the rules for daughter-in – laws
- Typical orthodox mentality – daughter in law comes for 4 things.
- For household work
- To sleep with their son
- To keep on producing kids, till you have a son
- To look after the kids – (if you have time after doing above things)
- She should sit on the floor in front of everyone. If no one at home she can sit in sofa or chair.
- If daughter & daughter in law in on room which have bed. Than only daughter have right to sleep on the bed. Daughter in law should sleep on the floor.
- She should keep a big “googhat” in front of elders for respect. ( I agree that we should respect our elders but forcefully getting respect is not a correct way)
- She has no rights to speak anything, even her personal decision to be taken by her mother in law.
- She should work around the clock 24X7 & all other will sit free. No one even get ready to help her.
- She get chance to met her parents on any family function or 2 days in a year she can go there to meet them.
- She has no choice, no dream, no rest, no respect & no freedom to breath.
You all guys thinking that all families are not same. I should not take decision with these 10 families that all joint families are same. I agree that, but I have observed many others too. In this city most of the families are same. Everyone wants to make their daughter in law free servant. Some manages to come out with their hubby’s support, some keep on struggling.
Just wanna ask you.
- Can you people guide me how we can change this thing.
- You guys don’t think that this women have right to live the way they want.
- Women run the family & house, then why no respect for her?
- Why can’t a daughter in law take a place of daughter?
I am amateur writer. I know I have made lots of grammatical mistakes while writing. Sorry for all that. My intention was just to show you the negativity in orthodox family in the modern India.
I apologize with depth of my heart if it hurt any individual personally.